You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she smelled like a LAN party
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
