I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
