i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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