you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize