i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
