Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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