Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
