Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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