they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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