dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
