You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
