You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
