found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
