i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
