We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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