tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
