I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
