You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
they're like a gay fantastic four
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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