Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
