We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
