I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
