this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
bring money and cleavage
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
