the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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