One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize