is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
