She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
