we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
