Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
