I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
