Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
