Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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