there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
