Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
