My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
