And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
