I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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