Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
