Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
