I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
