he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
