i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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