She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
