How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
