Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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