Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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