what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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