I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
