I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize