SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
