my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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