when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
