Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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