well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize