walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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