Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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