I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
