Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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